Star of Spira
by Lady Silverstone
Summary: Do you know what it feels like to wake up one morning and not know who you are, or where you are even where you may have come from? This is my story.
1. I

_Do you know what it feels like to wake up one morning and not know who you are, or where you are; even where you may have come from? _

_This is _my _story. _

* * *

The sun shining in my eyes is what woke me up. That and the monstrous headache that made me feel like someone was chopping my brain into small bits for a soufflé. I sat up slowly and looked around. I was sleeping on a white bed in a small cabin or tent. I wasn't sure.

I swung my feet around, so I could sit up properly and let them hang off the side of the bed.

There wasn't anyone in here, just a couple large pots of water and five other beds. I might have been scared if I wasn't so confused. I looked down at myself. My stomach was wrapped in gauze and I was wearing only small white shorts and a cloth wrapped around my chest. My feet were bare and cut up, but my hands were small and soft.

I hopped out of the bed – quite painfully, actually, I had forgotten about my feet and my shoulders felt on fire – to walk over to the pot of water closest to my bed.

I looked down into it tosee a girl with a very confused look upon her face. She – or I should say – I, even though I didn't know who I was, had shoulder length, white blonde hair. My eyes were a really light blue, except for the outer edge, which was dark blue, almost black.

I stood up and moved out of that room. Hobbled, is more what I did. A small woman was sitting behind a table, and jumped when I came in.

"Oh, you're awake! Praise be to Yevon!"

I just stared at her. Who was Yevon?

She walked over to a chest behind me and pulled out some odd clothing.

First, she handed me spandexy black pants. She waited, so I put them on, and she handed me faded blue shorts, which I pulled on over the spandex pants. She then handed me a shirt. It was mostly purple, but around the neck was the brown halter. That was a little more difficult to work out, especially with my bad shoulders and my stomach that was feeling a little disoriented. The lady helped me though, and then she handed me these socks that matched my shirt and tall brown boots.

"That's what you washed up wearing. We cleaned them up, of course and…oh! I have your bag and…staff too." The woman said, taking a brown bag embroidered with green, yellow and purple strings, from a hook. She wrapped the strap around my stomach carefully and fastened it. Then she took a tall staff out from a small cabinet and handed it to me. The pole was black and long and on top of it sat a blazing, deep red bulb. I touched the glass ball, which I noticed was kind of heavy, and it seemed to almost burn under my skin.

Something about that glass ball stirred me up, leaving me with a disgruntled and unrest feeling.

"We were all very scared for you when you showed up. What's your name, anyway?" The woman asked.

I looked at her solemnly and shrugged. "I—I don't…know." I said.

"Oh dear," she replied, stepping forward. "Why don't you go out and talk to Wakka and Tidus? They're the ones that found you yesterday."

I just nodded, like I knew what the hell she was talking about.

"Before you go out there, dear." She said, and dug in her robes. She threw something over me, but I began to feel a lot better.

"Thank you," I said, and left the hut, clutching my staff tightly.

* * *

It was very bright outside, very bright and very green. Small children were running around happily, the breeze was blowing and the smell of sea water clung to the air, filling me with a contented feeling.

I shielded my eyes from the sun as I looked around.

"Hey!" I heard someone yell.

I turned to see who it was—a tall, red haired man was running toward me. He had tall bangs that stood up and curled over, and he was wearing yellow pants that had sort of suspenders connected to his vest.

"Thank Yevon you're okay, we weren't sure you were going to make it!" he said. He had an accent, at least to my voice he did. But then again, maybe I had an accent and I forgot to use it?

"We?" I asked.

"Yeah, me and Tidus. My name is Wakka." He held out his hand, and I shook it, but I didn't know what to say.

"Where you from…uh…" he said after a few awkward moments. I figured he wanted to know my name, but I _really _didn't know what to tell him.

"Well…" I offered.

He looked hopeful.

"I…don't know my name. And I don't know _where _I came from." I put my head in my palm. My brains were still a bit jumbled and not knowing where I was from or even my name was really frustrating…and sad.

"Hey, that's alright. Come on, you can meet Tidus, yeah? He washed up like you…except he wasn't unconscious and he did this amazing kick flip…um…" he scratched the back of his head.

I just shrugged.

He set an arm around me and we walked down the path, past a few different huts.

"Here we are. Tidus, you in there?" he called.

After a moment, a tall, not quite as tall as Wakka, but tall, blonde guy came out of the hut.

"Hey, hey! She's awake." He exclaimed. He didn't have an accent.

And even though this was probably my cue to say something, anything like, 'thanks' maybe, the words didn't come out.

"Hey, Tidus, you guys kinda have something in common, yeah. She doesn't remember her name, or where she came from—but she's lost like you, eh?" Wakka told him.

"Yeah, I guess that _would _mean you're pretty lost." He sympathized, I think.

"At _least,_" Okay, why were the only things coming out of my mouth stupid? I don't know.

He laughed, though, and Wakka too.

"You're alright." He said to me.

I shrugged again. To shrug is to symbolize that you do not know. Yeah, wasn't that the truth.

"You should go in the temple and pray. Perhaps your memories will start to come back to you." Wakka said suddenly.

Tidus just looked at me.

"Um…alright."

"You _do _know the prayer, right?"

_No, _I thought, _I can't say I do, buddy. _

"Like this."

He put one foot back, spread his arms, bending down. As he stood straight, he moved his hands one over the other as if a ball were between them, and bowed.

"You try," he said.

I threw my staff to Tidus, who, thankfully, caught it and did just as Wakka showed me.

"Great! You're better than Tidus." Wakka cried.

I laughed a little, and then followed the boys to the temple. Tidus handed me my staff and winked. I blinked in return and moved over to a tall statue.

"That is High Summoner Braska." A soft voice said.

I didn't bother to look at who was speaking, just listened.

"He defeated Sin ten years ago, and we recently got this statue put in here."

I looked at it for a moment, and bowed, like Wakka showed me. I didn't know what the hell Sin was, other than what I did all the time by swearing, but I didn't care.

I just wanted to remember my name...

I heard yelling behind me. I turned to see Tidus dash up a case of stairs and into a room.

Wakka followed, but I was not going to be left behind. I ran up the stairs full speed and caught up with Wakka.

"Wait!" I cried.

He turned around, looking shocked.

"Let me come with you, too." I said.

It was very dark. We followed a hall and went down two cases of stairs. We found Tidus who was looking a little guilty, and we entered a large circular room. The biggest door was across from us, up another case of stairs. There was a very tall, furry, animal type man standing half way up the stairs. He had a dull horn on his head and a long tail that was wrapping around his legs and twitching.

"What in the world is going on, Wakka?" A woman with long, long black hair asked.

Wakka looked exasperated, the woman just looked pissed.

"Tidus, he wanted to go into the Cloister of Trials to get Yuna after he heard she'd been in here over a day." Wakka explained.

"She just may be excommunicated for his rash actions." The woman hissed.

I looked over at Tidus, but he wasn't paying any attention to Wakka or the woman, he was looking anxiously up at the large door.

I put my hand on Wakka's shoulder. "Come on, it can't be that bad." I said, "he was just worried, is all."

"So this is the girl you found." It was not a question.

I looked at the woman. She had a long dress on, a very neat one. It was fur around the shoulders, and belted about a million times in the front.

"I am Lulu." She said. I shook her hand too.

"I…don't know my name."

"She lost her memory, washing up on shore like that."

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

"Perhaps you got too close to Sin? It could be his toxin gripping your memory…" She suggested.

I just stared at her. Sin, again, eh?

"Ah, well, you're not exactly alone." Lulu said.

Just then, the big door opened, scaring me half to death.

A girl, who looked about my age (what was my age again?), stumbled out. She paused, and almost fell down the stairs, but the animal man caught her.

Tidus must have been feeling embarrassed, because he jumped forward too, like he could have caught her.

"I've done it, I've become a Summoner!" She said, beaming.

Something about it struck me familiar. I clutched my staff a bit tighter.

Lulu and Wakka looked pleased and walked up to her.

"What's a Summoner, again?" I asked Tidus. More stupid words.

Tidus shrugged.


	2. II

That night, I walked out of the hut to find Tidus, Wakka look-alikes, and the Summoner over by a few older people.

I walked up to Tidus and he smiled.

"So…um…what's going on?" he asked.

"I have no clue."

"I meant with you."

"So did I."

"Oh…" he looked around at the girl and back at me.

"Come on," he grabbed my arm and took me to her.

The oldest woman looked really irritated with Tidus, but the girl walked up to us.

"Hello, I'm Yuna, what's your name?"

I was starting to hate this question. Was everyone asking me because _I don't know? _

I looked to Tidus for help.

He said, "She isn't sure what her name is, or where she came from. She lost her memories."

Yes. Yes, thank you.

"Oh! That is terrible!" Yuna said, "Well, if you're going to travel with us, we have to call you something."

I looked blankly at her. Travel with them?

"What do you think, Tidus? Or better yet, what do you _want _to be called?" She asked, and bowed slightly.

"I really don't know and I don't want to name myself." I didn't think that was my job.

Tidus was looking up at the night sky.

"How about Star?" he said softly. "Her hair is so light, and her eyes are bright and shining like the stars."

I think I might have fallen in love with him then.

Okay, I lie, but it was really nice.

"Alright," I said.

"Star." Yuna repeated.

Tidus nodded.

"Come on Star, let's go, eh?" Wakka called. I ran out of the Crusader's lodge, pulling on a boot as I went.

My staff was tucked securely into the strap on my back, my little pouch, which I had found many neat things in—high-potions, remedies, and ether—and my hair was in a pony tail.

I wrapped my arm in his and we got onto the boat. I had only been to this part of Besaid once, and that was when I washed up on shore. It was terrible for me to have to leave the pretty beach behind.

As far as I was concerned, this was my home as much as Tidus and Wakka were my saviours; my brothers.

There were a lot of people sad that Yuna was going. But I didn't really understand. She would be back soon enough, wouldn't she?

We got off to a great start. The sky was clear and sunny and the water was smooth and calming. I went and sat down on one end of the boat. There were things going on around me, but none of that mattered. I didn't want to be making new memories anyway, not if they were going to replace my old ones.

I had already learned so much though. Wakka and Lulu told me about Sin, who is pretty much here until we can repent for using machina—or machines. It was against the teachings of Yevon, to use machina, and Sin would not stop killing until it was gone. But was Sin ever going to die?

High Summoner Braska defeated it ten years ago, but it was back again. I didn't understand.

I learned about Yuna too. She was going on a pilgrimage to become a High Summoner and defeat Sin. It all sounded oddly familiar. Everything about Yuna sounded familiar.

I decided to just lie down and not think anymore. But even as I did, thoughts kept coming.

Why didn't I know my name and where in Spira did I come from?

"Hey, you alright?" Wakka's voice called.

I opened my eyes. He must have been fifteen feet above me, looking down from a balcony.

I gave him the thumbs up. He grinned and disappeared.

I thought about closing my eyes again, but instead I got carefully to my feet, and walked around the deck for a few minutes.

I found Tidus and Yuna talking by the front side of the ship.

"Why, hello Star." Yuna greeted.

I just smiled, and looked awkwardly at Tidus.

He was smirking; he was obviously very taken with this girl, she was just too stupid to realize.

_Maybe, _I thought, with increasing chagrin, _she _does _realize, and is just ignoring him. _

"I've never been on a boat like this before," I said, hoping to create small talk.

I didn't like uncomfortable silences.

"How would you know that?" Tidus asked, and I realized he was right.

I looked down at my feet.

"I guess I could have been, huh?"

Yuna just grinned, "Perhaps you're right." She told me. "Perhaps you have never been on a boat such as this. Maybe it's something you remember."

"Remember not being on one?" Tidus asked.

I just shrugged; what they both said made sense.

"Where are we headed, again?" I decided to ask.

Normally, it would not matter.

"To Kilika," Yuna said, turning to look out over the water.

"Kilika," I repeated.

Just then I was knocked violently over to my side. The ship was filling with water and I got washed straight to the other side.

I clung to the railing and I heard the sailors screaming. Sin, they were saying.

I heaved myself up as the ship flipped over onto it's other side. I went tumbling forward, and fell into the sea. I realized with horror as Sin surface right underneath me that this was _not _where I wanted to be.

I jumped recklessly off of Sin and landed painfully back on deck.

Wakka and Lulu were by Tidus and Yuna.

Blue, winged creatures shot out of the water and began attacking me as I scurried over to my group.

Tidus unsheathed a watery, blue blade and killed as many as he could, while Lulu attacked them with various spells. Wakka started attacking Sin's fin, probably in hopes of driving it away.

As Tidus and Lulu killed creature after creature, more appeared out of the water to take their place.

I took the staff from its holster on my back in case I needed to defend myself.

The glass bulb burned scarlet and a lush red. And, as I pointed it at Sin's fin, lighting and fire shot out from the end of it. It surprised me, but at the same time filled me with a fire that coursed through my veins, telling me to fight.

I think Yuna was the only one to notice at first and whatever spell I thought of shot from my staff and landed heavily on Sin and his spawn. I was hit only twice, but a lightning spell casts from Sin's spawn, but I was in such a violent mode, I barely felt it.

Soon enough, we had driven them off.

I sat heavily in the pool of water that was still full on deck. I was soaked, and tired.

Yuna appeared next to me, whispering in my ear. "Did you know you could do that?" She asked me.

I shook my head slowly as Tidus, Lulu and Wakka made their way over.

"I didn't know you knew spells." Lulu said in her honey voice.

"Me either," I replied meekly.

Wakka and Tidus looked deeply impressed.

I laid down on my back and closed my eyes.

No more light.


	3. III

_Chapter Three! Woo! Okay, I have nothing to say. I could state the obvious, and say that I don't own Final Fantasy X, but that would be stating the obvious...and stating the obvious is just something I do not do. _

* * *

Someone was poking me. I opened my eyes.

I felt sick; I was still lying in a pool of water and the salt from the sea was dried to my skin.

"Come on," Wakka said, pulling me up by my arm.

"We've almost reached Kilika; you can take a bath, yeah?"

I nodded, and some of the men from the control room started mopping the water that was laid thinly on deck.

Wakka led me downstairs into the cabin's bathroom and handed me a towel from a stack in the hallway. The he left, without saying anything more.

I wondered if he was still shaken up about Sin, and I wondered where the others had gone.

I took my bath as quickly as possible, though I was sure to be thorough. I tried not to be excited about going to Kilika, but I couldn't help it. What if I had a family there, waiting for my return?

And even if I didn't have family there, perhaps there was a big group of friends, mourning the loss of their number one at sea. They would be so excited to have me back...

Who was I kidding? The real reason I washed up on shore like that was because I was just a pawn in someone's demented plan, and they didn't need me anymore.

I crawled out of the bath tub, and wrapped the warm towel around my small, shaking body.

I didn't know what to think.

* * *

Apparently, when we drove Sin away from our ship, he went to Kilika. Hundreds were killed. 

I tried not to cry as I looked around at all the wreckage and all the people whose loves had been ruined in the blink of an eye.

Dance, Yuna, dance. It was disgusting.

My staff smoldered under my skin as I watched her, wanting to lash out and strike her down. I wasn't sure why.

Wakka snapped me out of my trance as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"I wish you wouldn't have had to see this." he said quietly in my ear.

Tidus stood not too far away, looking how I felt: sick, yet utterly perplexed.

Yuna danced to send the souls of those who died to the Farplane. Lulu explained this to Tidus quietly, and I listened. If the souls are not sent, in time they will become fiends, killing those who live merely because they are jealous.

Wakka dragged me and Tidus off to a hut right after the Sending.

We sat up in those beds, talking a bit. He mostly reminisced about Zanarkand. He used to live there, before he was sent here. I thought, but didn't say, that maybe I had come from Zanarkand too. If that was the case, maybe I would never get my memories back.

Perhaps he sensed what I was thinking because he told me, "Don't worry, it's probably just Sin's toxin."

I wondered bitterly, _do you honestly believe that rubbish? _

I shrugged instead, and laid down.

"You've been pretty quiet since we got here." Tidus observed, sitting on my bed.

"Yeah..." I agreed.

"Are you alright?"

"I don't know."

"You've got to give me a bit more than that." He said, grinning.

I didn't smile. "It's just that...Kilika, this place...isn't at all as I pictured it. Especially now that everyone..."

He thought about that a moment, I guess, because he just looked at me.

"How did you picture Kilika?" He inquired.

I sighed, "I don't know, a big city, I guess. Not some stick huts on a beach." I know I was being a bit judgmental, but did that ever stop me before?

"A big city, huh? There's still hope yet."

He got off my bed and laid down in his own.

It was bedtime, I guessed. Not that I had anything intelligent, or interesting to respond to his thoughts, anyway.

* * *

We went just as quickly as we came. When it was all said and done, I was a little sad we were going. I certainly hoped that was not going to become a habit. The men that had survived were rebuilding and the women had some shops open, and were tending to their wounded.

They all bade Yuna a very safe trip, and the best of luck to the guardians.

What about me and Tidus, eh?

I supposed that was something I _would have _to get used to; being ignored.

So long as I remembered my name soon, that suited me fine.

As we set sail for Luca, I wondered to myself.

What would I do when I remembered everything again? Would I remember not remembering? How much had my life really changed? Is being with these people, riding on this boat, traveling to strange lands; is that something I would have never done before?

I was yanked from my thoughts when Yuna sat beside me.

"I'm sorry about all this, Star. I wish you didn't have to live like this."

For some reason, hearing her small voice talking about my 'no-memory' situation was really annoying.

"Don't worry about it." I looked out over the water instead of at her irritatingly beautiful face.

"But I have to!" She urged, "Anything to do with Sin...you losing your memories...it's all a part of why I'm here right now."

"No," I snapped, "It isn't. I didn't lose my memories because of some pissyold bat swimming around in the ocean."

She looked mortally offended.

"Perhaps not..." She whispered, not doing well to mask her pain.

"Look, I'm sorry. It's just a touchy subject for me."

She didn't understand. Maybe if I hit her hard enough over the head with my staff, it would do the trick.

"Yes, I'm sorry; I shouldn't have brought it up."

Ah, the bitch, making me feel bad and such.

"Like I said, don't worry about it, okay? I'll be alright."

Yuna nodded, "In time, stars may fade, but their memory will live on in the minds and hearts of those who watched them grow day after day, night after night. Therefore, Star, you will always live on, in the minds and hearts of those who knew you. Whatever happens, I will help you find yourself."

* * *

_Pfft...I dropped you at a pretty tough spot. I'm so bad. So...you think Star is remembering anything yet? Betcha that made you go up and look at stuff she thought about...no? Well, you should. Update as soon as I can. I've been having a rough time lately, but I won't go into the gory details. Believe me; they're gory...and sad. bye bye, my lovely readers, for now._


End file.
